Just Me-2017

As a nurse, just like in any profession, there are good days and bad. Some days are really good, some really bad. Unlike other professions though, many of our bad days come with sadness. We see sick kids everyday. We care for them and their families. We bond. We connect.

One of my last shifts on nights, is thus far, the worst I've experienced in my year of nursing. I admitted a patient with what we thought was a common illness. Turned out to be something much worse.

The patient spent the last few hours of alertness with me.

Just me.

I questioned whether I was caring, loving, attentive enough.

I was the random nurse coming and going from that hospital room that night.

Just me.

Did I do everything possible? Did I make the patient feel comforted?

I remember that patient asking for a simple request. The patient asked me to give a back massage.

Just me.

At first, I blew it off. I had more important things to do that night.
The second time I was asked, I gave a quick simple back massage while rolling my eyes.

Oh, how I wish I could turn back time.

The patient went downhill and fast. By the time family returned, the level of consciousness was waning.

The patient was transferred to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, where less than 24 hours later the patient was no longer with us.

It took me a while to process my emotions from that night. It was my first patient death.

At first I beat myself up, questioning everything.
Why didn't I truly give my time?

As time passed, I learned from this experience.
I learned to spend that little bit of extra time with my patients because you never know when it will truly make a difference.

If only we could see the future, how different we would do things.

2017

It's crazy how fast time goes.  Days become weeks become months become years. You don't even realize it. One day you're in nursing school the next you've already been a nurse for one year. I hate the feeling where time is just passing you by. You go to work, run errands, binge watch Netflix, have dinner dates, but you don't truly feel you are living your life.  This is why I love adventures and traveling. It makes me feel that I'm not trapped in this little area on the map.

Back in January, I took a trip to NYC to visit my college roommate. We actually met up in Baltimore then took the train to the city.  It's always such a great time getting to catch up with her. No matter how much time has passed, we pick up just like we are back at college sharing a dorm room.  I love that about our friendship.  We may not get to see each other often, but it's always nice when we do. It was a cold trip, but so good. I love New York City. I always imagine myself living there one day.

In June, my dad and I took a trip to Chicago.  It was a weekend trip to explore the city and catch a Cubs game at Wrigley Field. We did all the typical touristy things. Millennium Park to get a picture at the Bean, Willis Tower, Navy Pier, the Art Institute, an architectural river cruise, and of course the Cubs game. The Cubs won that game and it was the first time I'd heard 'Go Cubs Go'.

My yearly summer trip with my high school friend happened this past July.  After much debate about where to go, we ended up on a road trip to Niagara Falls. Our first stop was the Toledo zoo, then we continued on to Ann Arbor, MI where we stayed the night. We arrived in Niagara the next day and took the boat to the falls. It was pretty amazing. We went to the casino that night and walked away with less money than we started with. The next morning we headed to Toronto, where we walked around the city and went to the movies because it was raining. We did find a pretty nice park the next day right by the lake. Drove to Buffalo, NY that afternoon where we got dinner to-go and ate at the hotel while watching the first episode of the new season of Game of Thrones. Neither of us keep up with that show and I was extremely confused when I saw Ed Sheeran. The next morning was perfect weather for a canoe trip then we headed to Pittsburgh, PA, our last leg of the road trip. We checked out the Andy Warhol museum the next day, then headed home.

I absolutely love to travel. I enjoy exploring new cities and meeting new people. I like adventures.

L I F E

When I began my nursing school journey over one year ago, I couldn't see the end in sight. The accelerated nursing program at Bellarmine University was no joke. I thought about quitting more times than not. With eight week semesters, exams almost every week, class and clinical five days a week, I didn't have much of a life for those 12 months. Three hundred and sixty-five days seemed like an eternity. 

But, the hard work paid off. 

Five years ago, at the age of 21, I had just finished up my undergrad degree at WKU and had zero idea what to do with my life. I'm almost 27 years old now and just beginning my career. Just now starting to save for retirement. Still living at home with my parents.

At times, I used to feel as though I was "behind" in life. 

I was supposed to be married by 23, have my first child by 25. Sometimes I would think, "Where did I go wrong?". I see friends post pictures of their babies on Facebook, celebrate anniversaries with their spouse. While I was always happy for them, I couldn't help but compare my life to theirs. Social media is a truly wonderful gift, but sometimes we let it get the best of us. We use it as a tool of comparison, instead of a way to share in life's joyous moments. 

Who sets the standard of where one should be at 27 years old, anyway? Who says, I should've already been married with two kids by now? 

My loving 89 year old grandma. That's who. 

Every time I go to visit her, I get asked the same series of questions. It begins with, "Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend?" "Why not?" "How old are you?!" "You're a pretty girl. You shouldn't have trouble finding someone." 

I kindly smile and reply, "No, I'm not married, nor do I have a boyfriend." "I am 26 years old." "I've wanted to focus on school and beginning my career." 

My answers aren't satisfactory, but she accepts them and says she'll pray for a Godly man to enter my life. 

[I'm not even kidding.]

To some I may be behind in life, but I have learned to be completely happy with where I am and to stop comparing. 

I have had experiences most people never will. I may not have a husband or children or five years in my career, but I've fallen off an elephant in Thailand. I've lived with an Italian family and eaten true Italian pizza. I've almost gotten robbed in Naples. I've seen the Eiffel Tower. I've lived in California. I've gone skydiving. I've traveled solo. I've learned the majority of people in this world are kind.

And now at almost 27, I have begun a career that I love. I am a pediatric RN at Kosair [soon to have a different name] Children's Hospital. I am so happy to have found a career that incorporates my passion in life. 

My life took a completely different path. One that I never expected; however, I am so grateful for. All of my life experiences have made me who I am today. 

"Two things prevent us from happiness: Living in the past and observing others." 

                                                                                                    [Author Unknown]

2 | 0 | 1 | 5

First post of the new year!

So many things have changed in one year. My life has taken a completely different path & I'm excited for this new adventure. This time last year I was preparing for a three month trip to Italy; Today, I am preparing to begin nursing school in May.

My days of travel will be postponed for a year while I complete the accelerated BSN program at Bellarmine University. I am, however, hoping to take one last trip in April before nursing school consumes my life. If you know of any cool places I should visit, let me know! I have no idea where I want to go!

Meanwhile, I am a nanny for a sweet ten-month old baby boy. I absolutely love it and the family is awesome!  He will be going to daycare when he turns one though, so I decided to substitute teach until I begin the nursing program. I've considered being a teacher in the past, but decided it's not quite the right career path for me. However, I am super excited to be a sub for a couple of months. I applied with the Bullitt County district & have orientation January 14th. If you're a Bullitt County teacher (elementary or middle) and ever need a sub, I'll be ready come March!

One of my goals for this year is to run the Derby Mini-Marathon in April. I've wanted to run it for years & was actually signed up to run just last year. Unfortunately, I messed up my knee in Italy, so I wasn't able to properly train. However, this is my year! Let me know if you plan on running too!

For anyone who's curious, here's an update on my pup, Egypt:

[We're finally in the home-stretch. She is completely off one medication and only takes the second medication every other day. They'd like to keep her on meds for 8-9 months after the initial diagnosis of ITP. So hopefully by March/April, E will be completely off all medications. There is still a chance she could relapse, but the vet said she is handling the weaning process really well. Egypt's taking it like a champ and is doing amazing!]

The Journey to Paris

Even though my train wasn't departing until noon, I was dropped off at the Padova train station bright and early on that Thursday morning. You see, this was the only time Chiara could take me. Mattia had a doctor's appointment in Padova that morning, which would last a few hours, Marco had work, and there is no form of public transportation near my house.

So at 8AM I found myself in line at the help desk inquiring where the left luggage station was. I made my way to platform one to the office where I could pay a small fee to leave my suitcase for the day.

By 8:30AM I was across the street at McDonald's ordering a croissant with cream, while noticing a man standing awkwardly close to me. 

I had planned to pass the time away by leisurely eating breakfast and reading my book until it was time to meet up with an Au Pair who lived nearby. As I was scoping out the sitting area looking for a good place to hangout that morning, I realized there weren't any good spots. It was full of students grabbing breakfast and studying before heading off to class for the day. So I found myself sitting at a table in the middle of a long bench where two tables were on either side of me. A girl occupied a table to my right. Unfortunately, no one was to my left. Two dirty trays were setting on the table directly to my left though and I figured that would be enough to ward off any unwanted company.

I was wrong.

The man entered the sitting area with his tray of food, proceeded to set his tray on the tall table across the way (I breathed a sigh of relief). But it was only to free up his hands so he could move the dirty trays setting on the table to my left, so he could sit directly next to me. I still had hope that maybe I would be able to enjoy my morning.

Once he sat down I decided to scoot closer to the girl who was to my right. As I did this the man said, "No, No." (Great. He had made contact with me. Morning ruined.)

He started speaking to me in Italian. I thought "Perfect, I'll just tell him I speak English and this will end. I will be free to enjoy my reading". No, of course, homeboy knew how to speak English. Just my luck. 

He began the conversation with what I'm presuming is his go to pick-up line: "Do you come here often? I have this extra discount for a coffee and croissant for one Euro, I'd like to give it to you."

I found myself trapped. I was speaking to this man whom I had no desire to be speaking with. I got asked the usual questions: Where are you from? Are you studying? Why are you here? You're a what? How long will you be here? Will you learn Italian? 

The last question, "Will you learn Italian?" was the kicker. I replied, "I want to." He then said, "I think I may be in the profession to help you. I'm an Italian teacher at the University!" I said, "Oh cool." He continued speaking with much excitement about meeting up with me again, showing me around Padova, teaching me Italian. All the while, I was sitting there thinking, "Oh great. This is miserable. He is not attractive at all. Will he please just stop talking?"

I answered each question with as little enthusiasm as possible hoping he would get the hint and let me be. 

He didn't get the hint. 

And thus began my statements of lies. 

I finally said, "I have to leave to meet my friend", which was a lie. He replied, "How can I contact you? Do you have a phone number?" I lied and said, "No" thinking that would be the end of it. Nope. Thanks to social media he then said, "Do you have Facebook?" If I had said no then I would've been strange. I mean who in this day and age doesn't have a Facebook?! He then handed me his phone to add myself as his friend. I lied again. I said, "I can't find my profile. There's too many to scroll through." He said, "What if I add myself on your Facebook?" "I need WiFi for it to work", I said. That was lie.

But did this deter him? Noooo! He then said, "Why don't I give you my name and you can add me later?!" So he typed his name in my notes and I thought, "Finally, I can leave!" 

No, not before he tried doing the European greeting with me. It was the most awkward thing ever. Even more awkward than my first meeting with Chiara at the airport when I was totally not expecting the "kiss kiss" thing and it turned into an embarrassing, awkward hug. 

This one with the random guy takes the cake! I was not trying to get up close and personal with this man. He shook my hand and then leaned in for the "kiss kiss", but I was sure not to let him touch my face. So it was just this awkward hand shake with him trying to kiss my cheek, but I was making sure to keep my distance. 

He then made this awkward laugh and said, "I look forward to getting your request on Facebook." I gave him a fake smile and by 9AM I was walking down the streets of Padova annoyed that my morning plans were ruined. 

Christina.

Christina is an older woman Sammie and I met at the Coliseum. She was there with two of her girl friends and we happened to be on the elevator at the same time. We made small talk then, but it wasn't until we bumped into each other on our exit that we learned more about Christina.

She was born and raised in Scotland. She met her husband at a University there. He just so happened to be Italian so they eventually moved to Rome. She told us that her husband just passed away last year. They had been together fifty years. She spoke so highly of him. She said, "He was a wonderful man, not a typical Italian. I am very lucky to have spent all those years with him".

She is now trying to relive her life. She had been to the Coliseum before but said, "There are always things you haven't seen!"

She told us she is trying to get through each day. Some days are harder than others. She has two children, but they have their own families. She said, "I lost my family when I lost my husband. Your children are your family, but they have their own families. You can't wait around on them."

Christina spoke with such sincerity and passion.

This is why I love traveling.
Traveling gives me the opportunity to meet wonderful people and hear their stories.
It's truly an amazing thing.

P-I-Z-Z-A!

 The oven takes 1-2 hours to heat.

The oven heats up to 300-400 degrees Celsius.

When the inside of the oven is completely white, it is ready.

Chiara normally makes 15-20 pizzas when they have guests. Tonight we settled for 4.

This pizza had cheese (no mozzarella though), potatoes, spices with no sauce.

It only takes 1-2 minutes to cook the pizza.

The pizza must be turned a quarter of the way every few seconds.

Time to eat!